Fear of Rejection: Rejection Hurts—But What If It Didn’t?

I once had a conversation with a colleague about applying for a sales position. She was working in customer service and excelled at it—she knew the product inside and out and was already upselling every time she helped a customer. Her personality was warm and engaging, and in my mind, she had all the skills to thrive in sales.

But when I encouraged her to apply, she hesitated. “Anna, I prefer people to come to me rather than me going to them,” she said. “I want inflow, not outflow.”

Her words got me thinking about the fear of rejection. Sales is inherently filled with rejection, and many of us avoid situations where we might hear "no."

I thought back to a Sunday when I tried to get my guided journal stocked in a local boutique. I arrived at the store, saw a couple of customers inside, and suddenly felt paralyzed. The idea of pitching my product in front of strangers terrified me. I didn’t want to be rejected publicly, so I waited outside, hoping the store would empty. More customers arrived. My internal dialogue kicked in: Maybe I should come back when it’s less busy. Maybe the owner doesn’t want to be bothered. Maybe…

The truth? I was just scared.

My husband, who had gone to grab coffee, met me outside. “Are you done? Ready to go home?” he asked. When I admitted I hadn’t even stepped inside, he was confused. “Why are you waiting?” I told him I was waiting for the store to be empty. We stood there for another five minutes before he finally walked in and asked on my behalf. He came back out with the owner’s business card and told me I could email her instead.

It struck me that despite our different upbringings and experiences, my colleague and I shared the same fear. Fear of rejection is universal. In her case, she was close to retirement, so a career switch might not have been worthwhile. But I still have decades ahead of me. Overcoming this fear would only help me grow.

My husband was surprised by my hesitation. “You’re great with people. You talk to strangers all the time. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Logically, I knew the answer: someone says no. And that’s it. The world doesn’t end. But knowing something logically doesn’t always mean feeling it emotionally.  It proves that having the right skills isn’t enough—your mindset plays a crucial role in success.

I once saw a YouTube video of a man who deliberately sought rejection—ten times a day. He’d ask for free refills, request discounts on random purchases, and put himself in situations where a "no" was almost guaranteed. People often looked confused or uncomfortable, but every once in a while, he actually got a yes. His goal wasn’t to get what he asked for but to build resilience. Over time, rejection lost its sting.

I won’t be asking for free refills on burgers anytime soon, but I understand his approach. The only way to overcome the fear of rejection is to face it repeatedly.

I believe in my guided journal. I know it can help people. But I don’t have an unlimited marketing budget—I need to put myself out there. And that means continuing to push past my fear.

Because at the end of the day, a "no" is just a stepping stone to a "yes."

What’s one small step you can take today to face your fear of rejection?

Anna